Romantic relationships are one of the most powerful bonds achievable between a man and a woman. Yet it can also have devastating emotional consequences when things do not work out. Oftentimes, one person feels somehow cheated, upset that the other person is not putting in as much effort. Other times interest simply wanes, regardless of whether physical, intellectual, or otherwise, and it becomes easier and easier for resentment to take root and build up.
Romantic relationships are quick to get into but are quite typically extraordinarily hard to work out successfully or even just get out of. Feelings of abandonment are typical, with a sense of shame plus the resultant low self-esteem. In many cases, anger will also ensue, further disrupting lives and distorting perceptions.
It takes a great deal of maturity to engage in a romantic relationship, and in some ways probably takes even much more to gracefully end one. Generally, the two parties are unevenly matched in many areas, producing both maintaining such a relationship as well as ending one extremely hard emotionally.
A major part of the dilemma – indeed, its very core – is that men and women confuse love with desire. It can be possible to desire with no love, but impossible to love with out desire. Moreover, as psychologist Erich Fromm has noted, individuals believe of love as a matter of having instead of being. That is, folks would like to have love but usually do not in fact practice loving, as an action of their everyday lives.
Men and women imagine that nothing is simpler than to love, not realizing that to love is truly the hardest task a human being could ever accomplish in his or her lifetime. They confuse the experience of falling in love with that of “standing” in love. Falling in love means being attracted to somebody. Standing in love, says Fromm, is about caring for that human being regardless of one’s own requirements and desires.
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