“Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” is a very old saying and something that in the modern world of technology is frequently neglected in our relationships. We have almost come to the stage where we find it easier to interact more through our computers than with real relationships. The constant need for immediate responses to our problems and challenges means that we are gradually loosing the know how to effectively relate with the ones we love.
After a long day at work or when you have finished looking after the children the best present you are able to give to the person you love is to listen, that’s spot on I did write listen! Make time for both of you to have a few moments “us’ time, begin with a straightforward question make it uncomplicated for example “What was the best thing about your day?” it will allow your partner the chance to be open about their day, in contrast to the common “how was your day?” to which the reply will usually be a single word – “Good”. In order that you can be a good listener you should ask open questions that are unable to be answered with a single word. Takes practice but the benefits to your relationship are wonderful.
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You should be primarily a listener, that allows you to show your respect your partner views, remember that 90% of communication between you is unspoken , in other words body language, your partner will quickly see that you are not actually listening to what they are saying. This will help to destroy your relationship over time finally reaching at the stage when they say “you never listen to what I have to say……”, or much worse “you only listen when you want something…………..”
Never interrupt them or try to finish their sentences for them, give them time, it is a little understood fact that we can process words at a much faster rate than we can speak them, so just listen, be interested in what they say, put them first .
It is not important if your relationship is just beginning or well established~ long standing} the needs are the same to keep it together is to listen to whatever your partner is saying about the things that are important to them, then make a reply only when you have finished listening and understood what they said. Sounds very deep I know, but if make assumptions that you know what they mean without listening properly and give an incorrect response then follow it with the worst put down – ‘I thought that’s what you meant……….”, will get you into a lot of trouble. Neglect things now and you may well end up asking how to get my ex back
Listening is such a small thing to offer your partner, but over the years I have found that one of the most prevelant relationship problems is frequently signaled, in a relationship advice session, when one or other of them says “She/he never listens to a thing I say………………”, which almost always means that when they communicate they do not give each other time to listen, you know the “two ears, two eyes & one mouth” thing, means speak once listen and look twice .
Whatever age we are we all of us of us want to know that our partner wants to listen to what we have to say and show us the respect we need by listening, it can about anything for example, their opinion on the latest film/game/book/TV show/what happened in their day ……..the list can be never ending and it is frequently trivial stuff but they need to share it with YOU, all you have to do is to LISTEN.
Keep you love for each other young by talking daily and most importantly LISTENING to what the other has to say, Successful communication allows for a successful relationship – understand? For more advice how to get your ex back